I have been wondering why writing is so hard sometimes? This post is not about finding excuses for not being productive in meeting my writing goals. This post is a reflective post to see what went wrong for my AcWriMo last week. I kept thinking about how I did it last time before I submitted my dissertation and wondered why I felt it’s harder this time. I failed miserably to write in the morning or in the evening (and I also failed in my morning yoga routine last week). I really felt very bad and somehow demotivated. The few things that cheer me on were my good AcWriMo-ers on Twitter and seeing the AcWriMo spreadsheet with so many updates daily, even on weekends. It’s really very inspiring yet I still couldn’t produce desirable results. Something is terribly wronged with me, I guess.
My number one problem I found was my lack of focus. Whenever I tried to focus on a task on hand, my mind kept thinking of another task that I want to tackle. My pomodoros were filled with so many interruptions that I felt so bad about. I just couldn’t help myself to worry how many tasks I still haven’t completed. The more I thought about them, the more I felt bad about myself. That’s not all. I have so many non-writing tasks in the office (and people keep asking me to do various stuff) that these boggled the mind over the week.
However, I know very well that this problem is nothing new to me or others. I had experienced harder time before and I still did it at the end. All I need is probably some changes of strategy and most importantly not to give up. Writing this post sure gives me a better perspective of my (failed) writing habit. I just hope believing that I can do it will really help me doing it.